Once I was at my in laws and I told them I was drunk instead of saying I'd had enough to eat. To make that scenario even funnier, I was four months pregnant at the time.
That's what happens when you have a lazy husband who doesn't correct your German. My guess is, I'd been walking around telling various people, "Oh no, no more food! I'm totally drunk!" for at least three years before anyone corrected me. Oh well.
So for the record, "Ich bin voll." translates to "I'm totally wasted" or "I'm three sheets to the wind." or "I am very intoxicated." Take your pick.
Below I have listed various funny things Germans have said in English. I'll let you guess as to what they were actually talking about.
Tom and Jerry always blow each other.
I slept with the family.
Will we meet us tomorrow?
When do you become your baby?
Watch out for porks on the road.
I need swimming pants.
Do we have any cough juice?
I became a cup of coffee.
We were in the near of the train station
That is wonder full.
Do you want to go on a non sex date with me?
I do not like black music.
He has his own mind.
There are many colored people there.
Our train begins tomorrow.
Oh look, it isn't alive anymore.
We're going to make a party.
I'm going to eat one of my sheeps this weekend.
I can't think of anymore funny translations, feel free to add your own in the comments!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
German Home Decor Teil zwei
Hi there.
I've been hard at work all weekend. My apartment is transformed! Well, sort of.
It's no secret that I haven't been loving the living room. Even though our furniture looked fantastic in our little Hamburg apartment it seemed downright lackluster in the new one. Take a look.
I tried moving things around and changing a couple things but I still didn't like it. Here it is all decorated for our New Year party in January.
The entire room bothered me. There didn't seem to be enough color, or pattern and everything seemed colorless and somehow dark? Even though all our furniture is white? I just didn't understand it. The room frustrated me.
Two weeks ago I decided we needed new throw pillow covers. We went to IKEA but everything was neutral colors. That was the first trip to IKEA where I only bought a coffee mug and a flower pot. I quizzed H on other stores that sold home decor but he didn't know. I went home and got all teary eyed over how much I miss Target and the Pottery Barn. Do you remember Linen n' Things? There used to be a big one right by my parents house. Half my friends back home AND my sister have the same chartreuse throw pillows from Target. I love Target, but alas, Germans don't like hypermarkets. Target doesn't stand a chance in this country.
H suggested I look on Amazon.
A quick search provided thousands of pillows. I had no idea that Esprit makes home furnishings. They do and I'm happy to say that their home furnishings are a lot better than their clothing line.
With my pillow problem solved I turned to our guest bedroom/office/clothes drying room/someday possibly a baby's room if we manage to fit anymore furniture in there.
When we moved in we sort of stuck of bunch of furniture and stuff in this room and then forgot about it. The place was a mess. It needed a major overhaul before I could even think about putting a house guest in there.
Sadly, I was out of money. I'd pretty much spent my entire decorating budget on pillows. I still have to buy a crib someday, and a stroller and a car seat and everything else a baby needs in life. I don't know enough people around here to throw a descent party, let alone a baby shower. There is also the fact that most expats I know are on shoe string budgets. I'd feel like a grifter if I asked anyone to come to a party whose sole purpose is giving me stuff.
My biggest problem was pictures. Our apartment in Malente is much bigger than the Hamburg apartment. There is a lot of empty wall space. Pictures are also really, really expensive. I didn't see anything at IKEA that I liked. I was already sick of IKEA anyway. I thought and thought and thought and finally decided to try printing my own pictures, matting and framing them myself. Considering each of the pictures I hung cost an average of 4€, the results weren't too bad. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday cleaning, organizing and trying to find the right place for our limited wall hangings. Voila!
I took these pictures of flowers when we were in Spain. I hung them in the kitchen.
And for no particular reason, I think I finally found a plant that can survive the extreme humidity in our bathroom. These African violets appear to be, dare I say, happy?
Here is our room, in case anyone was curious. The half green, half white walls were H's idea. It's a popular decorating method in Germany and I actually ended up loving it. H picked out all the paint colors in our apartment.
There are few more things to do this week. My Hubs has declared that he will mop the kitchen and entry way this weekend. The linens on the extra bed smell like dust and need to washed before my Mom comes but everything else is finished.
Sometimes I feel like my decorating efforts fall flat compared to my friends and family in the US. They have so many options and everything seems to be more affordable. My 'big' apartment in Malente is just average sized or even small compared to apartments in Chicagoland. Nevertheless, I'm proud of how it's turned out! We built our little home together and I love everything, IKEA or no IKEA.
I've been hard at work all weekend. My apartment is transformed! Well, sort of.
It's no secret that I haven't been loving the living room. Even though our furniture looked fantastic in our little Hamburg apartment it seemed downright lackluster in the new one. Take a look.
The entire room bothered me. There didn't seem to be enough color, or pattern and everything seemed colorless and somehow dark? Even though all our furniture is white? I just didn't understand it. The room frustrated me.
Two weeks ago I decided we needed new throw pillow covers. We went to IKEA but everything was neutral colors. That was the first trip to IKEA where I only bought a coffee mug and a flower pot. I quizzed H on other stores that sold home decor but he didn't know. I went home and got all teary eyed over how much I miss Target and the Pottery Barn. Do you remember Linen n' Things? There used to be a big one right by my parents house. Half my friends back home AND my sister have the same chartreuse throw pillows from Target. I love Target, but alas, Germans don't like hypermarkets. Target doesn't stand a chance in this country.
H suggested I look on Amazon.
A quick search provided thousands of pillows. I had no idea that Esprit makes home furnishings. They do and I'm happy to say that their home furnishings are a lot better than their clothing line.
With my pillow problem solved I turned to our guest bedroom/office/clothes drying room/someday possibly a baby's room if we manage to fit anymore furniture in there.
Sadly, I was out of money. I'd pretty much spent my entire decorating budget on pillows. I still have to buy a crib someday, and a stroller and a car seat and everything else a baby needs in life. I don't know enough people around here to throw a descent party, let alone a baby shower. There is also the fact that most expats I know are on shoe string budgets. I'd feel like a grifter if I asked anyone to come to a party whose sole purpose is giving me stuff.
My biggest problem was pictures. Our apartment in Malente is much bigger than the Hamburg apartment. There is a lot of empty wall space. Pictures are also really, really expensive. I didn't see anything at IKEA that I liked. I was already sick of IKEA anyway. I thought and thought and thought and finally decided to try printing my own pictures, matting and framing them myself. Considering each of the pictures I hung cost an average of 4€, the results weren't too bad. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday cleaning, organizing and trying to find the right place for our limited wall hangings. Voila!
And for no particular reason, I think I finally found a plant that can survive the extreme humidity in our bathroom. These African violets appear to be, dare I say, happy?Here is our room, in case anyone was curious. The half green, half white walls were H's idea. It's a popular decorating method in Germany and I actually ended up loving it. H picked out all the paint colors in our apartment.
There are few more things to do this week. My Hubs has declared that he will mop the kitchen and entry way this weekend. The linens on the extra bed smell like dust and need to washed before my Mom comes but everything else is finished.
Sometimes I feel like my decorating efforts fall flat compared to my friends and family in the US. They have so many options and everything seems to be more affordable. My 'big' apartment in Malente is just average sized or even small compared to apartments in Chicagoland. Nevertheless, I'm proud of how it's turned out! We built our little home together and I love everything, IKEA or no IKEA.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Practical European fashion
When I moved to Germany in 2005 I didn't own a pair of skinny jeans. All my purses were small and I'd never had a pair of knee high boots. I owed lots of delicate stiletto heals and cropped jackets. The only flat shoes I had were flip flops and a pair of sneakers I used to wear to class sometimes. The most walking I did was around my college campus. I thought the Germans were funny for wearing their boots over their pants and that their jeans were too short.
Most of my clothes got chucked or put away indefinably within a year.
I like being warm and dry and able to walk around without pain, things that were pretty much impossible to do with my old wardrobe. As I watched my stilettos shred and break on cobblestones and felt my boat cut jeans soaking up rain like sponges, I realized that European fashion isn't about looking good so much as it is about being comfortable. These wise Germans were wearing short jeans so they wouldn't get dirty! They tucked their pants into their boots to stay dry! Here's a brief rundown of some other things I've learned about dressing in Europe.
Europe can be cold and rainy year round. Even though I have a car I still spend a lot of time walking from place to place in bad weather. It's important to always have an umbrella.
Winter
In winter I almost always wear waterproof boots over skinny jeans. I like heels but I stick with something that's low enough that I can walk and carry a heavy bag most of the day without pain. I also choose a knee length coat in stormy weather. Shorter coats are cute but they don't keep me dry and nothing puts me in a bad mood like a wet butt. Snow boats are great but I only wear mine in the snow because they get dirty in rain. I also always bring a hat and scarf so my hair is covered and won't get wet when the wind turns my umbrella inside out. I wear gloves because the wind is bitter.
Summer
It isn't always warm in summer. I've worn jeans and jackets in August more often than I have sun dresses. I recommend strappy sandals and water proof flats for lots of walking. I never wear flip flops unless I'm going to the beach or pool. I also always have a light sweater or jacket in case it get cold or rains. Usually it's cool in the morning and warmer in the afternoon so I wear layers that I can take off.
Bags
I always have hand lotion, sunglasses, tissues, lip balm, make up, my wallet, a liter of water, my phone, a small hair brush, gum, eye drops and an umbrella. Depending on how long I'm gone and what the weather is like I might also need to bring a snack, hat, gloves, sweater, my ipod and a book. If I'm going to work I need space for my teaching materials, laptop, dry erase markers, pens, post its, games, colored pencils and class notes. If Redgie is with me he needs a water bowl, blanket, some treats and poo bags. When I stop to pick something up at the drug store or super market I put everything I buy in my purse because I never remember to bring a separate bag for the groceries. Some stores let you buy plastic bags but others don't.
Since I hate backpacks and refuse to carry one now that I'm a college graduate, I like roomy, light weight purses with lots of pockets that can be worn multiple way. It's true I occasionally realize I've been carrying around a forgotten jar of molasses for a week but I find it's easier to carry one big bag than two or three smaller ones. My coach purses are the only ones that have lasted all the wear and tear for more than a year without breaking.
Shoes
I almost never buy shoes in American anymore because they don't last on cobblestones and the heals always get gouged. My favorite places to buy shoes in Germany is Zara and Shoe 4 You. Sometimes I buy shoes from Görtz and Tamaris.
In General
I stay away from short shirts and low rise jeans and any clothing that rides up or down or won't let me move freely. I don't want to be pulling my jeans back up every five minutes and worrying about my clothes while I'm busy doing other stuff. If I can't bend down and pick up my dog in an outfit then I don't wear it.
Those are the only things I can think of now.
Me and my pre Europe clothes
I like being warm and dry and able to walk around without pain, things that were pretty much impossible to do with my old wardrobe. As I watched my stilettos shred and break on cobblestones and felt my boat cut jeans soaking up rain like sponges, I realized that European fashion isn't about looking good so much as it is about being comfortable. These wise Germans were wearing short jeans so they wouldn't get dirty! They tucked their pants into their boots to stay dry! Here's a brief rundown of some other things I've learned about dressing in Europe.
Europe can be cold and rainy year round. Even though I have a car I still spend a lot of time walking from place to place in bad weather. It's important to always have an umbrella.
Winter
In winter I almost always wear waterproof boots over skinny jeans. I like heels but I stick with something that's low enough that I can walk and carry a heavy bag most of the day without pain. I also choose a knee length coat in stormy weather. Shorter coats are cute but they don't keep me dry and nothing puts me in a bad mood like a wet butt. Snow boats are great but I only wear mine in the snow because they get dirty in rain. I also always bring a hat and scarf so my hair is covered and won't get wet when the wind turns my umbrella inside out. I wear gloves because the wind is bitter.
Summer
It isn't always warm in summer. I've worn jeans and jackets in August more often than I have sun dresses. I recommend strappy sandals and water proof flats for lots of walking. I never wear flip flops unless I'm going to the beach or pool. I also always have a light sweater or jacket in case it get cold or rains. Usually it's cool in the morning and warmer in the afternoon so I wear layers that I can take off.
Bags
I always have hand lotion, sunglasses, tissues, lip balm, make up, my wallet, a liter of water, my phone, a small hair brush, gum, eye drops and an umbrella. Depending on how long I'm gone and what the weather is like I might also need to bring a snack, hat, gloves, sweater, my ipod and a book. If I'm going to work I need space for my teaching materials, laptop, dry erase markers, pens, post its, games, colored pencils and class notes. If Redgie is with me he needs a water bowl, blanket, some treats and poo bags. When I stop to pick something up at the drug store or super market I put everything I buy in my purse because I never remember to bring a separate bag for the groceries. Some stores let you buy plastic bags but others don't.
Since I hate backpacks and refuse to carry one now that I'm a college graduate, I like roomy, light weight purses with lots of pockets that can be worn multiple way. It's true I occasionally realize I've been carrying around a forgotten jar of molasses for a week but I find it's easier to carry one big bag than two or three smaller ones. My coach purses are the only ones that have lasted all the wear and tear for more than a year without breaking.
Shoes
I almost never buy shoes in American anymore because they don't last on cobblestones and the heals always get gouged. My favorite places to buy shoes in Germany is Zara and Shoe 4 You. Sometimes I buy shoes from Görtz and Tamaris.
In General
I stay away from short shirts and low rise jeans and any clothing that rides up or down or won't let me move freely. I don't want to be pulling my jeans back up every five minutes and worrying about my clothes while I'm busy doing other stuff. If I can't bend down and pick up my dog in an outfit then I don't wear it.
Those are the only things I can think of now.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Home Decor German style
At 6:00 p.m. last Friday night in the rain and darkness I found myself packing my husband and one little striped dog into the Honda for a one hour and thirty minute drive to the Ikea in Schnelsen, Hamburg. It was Friday night so what else could we possibly do for 'fun'? This trip was possibly inspired by a sudden neurotic dislike of my living room. I thought it would be cured by this rug:
Doesn't that look beautiful?
It turns out that in person it's rather disappointing. The pretty cream is more of a dark tan and apparently it's hand woven or something but the entire effect says 'dingy and faded' more than 'the answers to all your decorating needs'.
My biggest problem with home decor in Germany is that with a middle income family we have Ikea and... well, pretty much Ikea. We've bought a couple of things from Dom and Hendryk still has the remnants of his bachelor pad but the rest is from Ikea.
Ikea. Ikea. Ikea. I love Ikea but I'm so sick of it.
Can I find another store that sells home furnishings? Please? I guess as an American I'm used to having a ton of inexpensive variety. Shopping is so vital to the American way of life that I took it for granted that I could just walk out and buy whatever I wanted. I dare say, Germany needs a wider variety of stores. Do you have any idea what I would give to go to Target and load up a cart and bring it home. Target, I miss you SOOOO much. All of my friends back home have your throw pillows and I want them too.
I'm going to check out Urban Outfitters the next time I'm in Hamburg and see how their home furnishings compare. At least I will always have Urban Outfitters.
It turns out that in person it's rather disappointing. The pretty cream is more of a dark tan and apparently it's hand woven or something but the entire effect says 'dingy and faded' more than 'the answers to all your decorating needs'.
My biggest problem with home decor in Germany is that with a middle income family we have Ikea and... well, pretty much Ikea. We've bought a couple of things from Dom and Hendryk still has the remnants of his bachelor pad but the rest is from Ikea.
Ikea. Ikea. Ikea. I love Ikea but I'm so sick of it.
Can I find another store that sells home furnishings? Please? I guess as an American I'm used to having a ton of inexpensive variety. Shopping is so vital to the American way of life that I took it for granted that I could just walk out and buy whatever I wanted. I dare say, Germany needs a wider variety of stores. Do you have any idea what I would give to go to Target and load up a cart and bring it home. Target, I miss you SOOOO much. All of my friends back home have your throw pillows and I want them too.
I'm going to check out Urban Outfitters the next time I'm in Hamburg and see how their home furnishings compare. At least I will always have Urban Outfitters.
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