Research paticipants needed

Hey internet.

I'm writing my big bad mater thesis right now, while also taking a full load of classes.  Now I'm starting to understand why most of my peers take a gap semester, internship or go abroad before they write their thesis. I'm only in Germany until October, so I have no choice but to finish ASAP.

And we're planning an international move.

And applying for my husband's green card/immigrant visa.

While just being a normal human/mom/pre diabetic/dealing with secondary infertility/RPL.

Oh the joys, I tell you.

Actually I can't complain too much. At least life isn't boring and things are changing. I'm the kind of person who dies a little when things stagnate so it's nice that everything is happening, even it happens all at once.

Anyway.

I'm doing research again, this time on gender roles! Oh it's fun. I thought I'd be collecting data for months but it appears as in the less than two weeks I almost have 500 respondents. I am so close, like 30 people away from the magic number. The sooner my data collection is finished, the sooner I can move on to data analysis and all that.

So if you have 15 minutes please take my survey. And if you know any men/guys/dudes please ask them to take it too. As always, I have way more female respondents than males and I need a balanced sample this time.

Thanks so much,
xxxx

https://www.soscisurvey.de/theworldasyouseeit/

Blame allocation in morally ambiguous situations survey

Hey guys! If you are reading this it's probably because you took our survey, 'blame allocation in morally ambiguous situations'. First of all, I want to thank everyone who participated.  Distributing surveys online isn't an easy task and thanks to our participants we exceeded our goal of a 93% confidence interval and made it to a 95% confidence interval. We have 550+ completed surveys and our original goal was 300. This largely due to the contribution of several Facebook groups in the last week who let us post our survey and our group members who kept asking and working to get the survey out there. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Since we reached our goal and people were starting to discuss the survey online, on the advice of our professor we decided to close early. Online research is tricky, we want people to participate and we love it when our topic creates dialog but we also don't want dialog to create bias that could affect our results. In the next few weeks we will start the painstaking task of importing, cleaning, and analyzing our collected data. It's too early to know anything but I'd like to give everyone who is interested an explanation of the research and why we think it's important.

This research project was conducted through FU Berlin's research placement program for MA students. Our MA is focused on data analysis. Our particular placement is in the 'experimental research program'. That means you all participated in a sociological experiment! Fun, right?

Previous research has shown that when women break social norms such as having a dirty house, many sexual partners or being obese they are judged more harshly than men who exhibit the same behavior. Other research has shown that in the case of violent crime men are given longer prison sentences than women. However there is little to no research on how men and women are judged in situations where there is no clear social norm or where social norms may vary greatly due to different worldviews.

Our research idea was simple.

We conducted a vignette study attempting to assess how blame is attributed according to attitudes concerning gender. This means we asked people to judge the same situations, but in 50% of the cases the gender was male and in 50% the gender was female. This study attempted to gauge attitudes, not actions, regarding gender. Respondents were asked to read several vignettes and then make judgments on the allocation of blame. These judgments should in theory reflect their attitudes towards men and women in different roles according to life rolls: single young adult, student, employee, romantic partner, parent, and spouse. These roles were combined with morally ambiguous real life situations such as: an assault on an intoxicated individual, possible discrimination in the workforce against foreigners, domestic violence, loss of a child, distribution of private personal photos and possible wrongful termination of employment.  The experiment was conducted as a survey, with 50% the male control group and 50% the female treatment group. Surveys were online via social media. The age, nationality and gender of respondents was controlled for. 

According to researchers (Christine Barter and Emma Renold) vignettes may be used for three main purposes in social research: to allow actions in context to be explored; to clarify people’s judgments; and to provide a less personal and therefore less threatening way of exploring sensitive topics. In qualitative research, vignettes enable participants to define the situation in their own terms. 

Hypothesis: - In some rolls women or men will be judged differently, for example they may be judged differently in the role of parents than the roll of students. 

Our theoretical background is extensive, ranging from theories such as victim blaming, internalized gender stereotypes, the motherhood mandate and intersectionality. 

Why is this research important?

We believe our research is important because individual views on gender and blame allocation create the greater social environment in which people are judged both in the legal system and by their peers. It is indeed often said that the macro is made up of the micro. This Daily Beast article (which conveniently popped up in my Facebook news feed this morning) gives a good example of social problems that can result from blame allocation. The article describes a situation where a mother whoes child died of SIDS is charged and convicted of negligent homicide for the sole reason that she let her child sleep on its stomach. As students of sociological research we ask the question, in the same situation would a father also have been charged with a crime? And what does society gain by charging a parent who lost their child with a crime?

In addition, I know some people expressed distress at the inclusion of a murder child in our research. I want to explain that this was included because as a parent I was deeply upset when a child went missing over the summer very near to where I live. I only know this child was missing because the police put up posters around our neighborhood, it was not reported in the national news. I felt more affected than I would have in the USA where child abductions are more frequently covered by the media. I was also interested to hear people express the view that the mother of the child was to blame. If you are interested in this case there is a link. Indeed, all our research situations were cases that our group felt impacted us in a personal manner.

Thanks again for your participation, I hope this answers most of the questions people had about our research.

x

Sara

For science

Hi! Do you want to help me with my grad school project? Take five and fill out this super fun, super short survey on blame allocation in morally ambiguous situations! I will be forever grateful! 
xx
Sara

https://www.soscisurvey.de/theworldasyouknowit/

German vs. American fitness

One of my biggest problems with juggling my roles as employee/student/parent/person is that I never have enough time for exercise.  I tried really hard last semester but in the end I couldn't keep it up. I might be able to work a 5k or strength training session into my weekend if I don't have any papers to edit or any assignments for school.  During the week I'm too tired to commit to exercise and most days there just isn't time even if I had the energy.  This is frustrating because while exercise is important for physical health I really need it to reduce stress and for my mental well being.  I am way less irritable and pleasant to be around if I've been working out.

The answer to this problem has been right in front of me the whole time.  I just needed to exercise like my German husband.  H has the ability to eat whatever he wants and never become overweight.  Not only that, he takes and passes a fitness test every year even though he eats the same standard German diet on which I struggle not to gain weight.  Oh yeah, and he works 45 hours a week, does an MBA program in the evening and does his share of co-parenting.  What's the secret?  While we joke about his 'skinny genes' there are some very real lifestyle differences between my husband and I.

Since I love statistics I figured I'd do a little research into possible contributing factors to back up my anecdotal evidence.


It's possible after spending a little bit of time in Germany you might notice two things.  First, the standard German diet includes a lot of foods that have been demonized in American culture: bread, chocolate, mayo, potatoes, pork, fried foods, heavy cream sauces, cakes, processed meats and alcohol.  Second, Germany has less than half the obesity rate of the USA and about a third less than the UK and Australia.  What's up with that?

2014 OECD rates for obesity

France 14.5%

Germany 14.7%

Spain 16.7%

South Africa 16%

United Kingdom 24.7%

Canada 25.4%

Australia 28.3%

New Zealand 31.3%

Mexico 32.4%

USA 35.3%

source 

Clearly Germany has a significantly lower rate of obesity.  I thought this might have something to do with the level of physical activity.  Looking at the data we see that more people are regularly active in Germany than in countries with higher rates of obesity.

Percentage of the adult population that are inactive

Germany 28%

Canada 33.3%

Mexico 37.7%

Australia 37.9%

USA 40.5%

New Zealand 47.7% 

Spain 50.2%

United Kingdom 63.3%

source

Now we're starting to get an interesting picture of some of the differences between the USA and Germany when it comes to fitness.  Another interesting cultural difference is the way that Americas exercise versus the way Germans exercise.  About 16% of Americans have a gym membership as opposed to only 6.2% of Germans (source, source).  But if Germans aren't going to the gym, how are they managing to be more active than Americans?  The answer is that Germans get more of their exercise by biking and walking. 

H likes to run and swim but the majority of the years we've been married he's also biked to school or work.  I admit when I first showed up in Germany with a bunch of stilettos in 2007 I didn't think much of walking places. Now I've totally reversed my attitude.  I haven't worn a pair of shoes I couldn't walk in for years.

My school is too far away for biking to be an option but Germany has a fabulous public transportation system.  It's almost always more efficient and cost effective to take the train than to drive places.  Public transportation causes people to walk a bit more than they would if they were driving.  Using a pedometer I discovered that when I take the train I end up walking two miles a day.  It doesn't seem like that much, walking from the train station to my classes but it adds up to an extra 36 miles a month.  Walking is a load bearing exercise, just as healthy for you as jogging.  

Now you could walk everywhere but the one problem with walking longer distances is that it isn't very time efficient.  This is perhaps why so many Germans ride bikes.  Especially during the warmer months Germans bike everywhere.  They bike their kids to Kita, to the store, to work. Biking three kilometers only takes about ten minutes.  It's almost as time efficient as driving for short distances.  If I bike to the train station in the morning and to run errands I can easily end up getting 100 of the 150 recommended minutes of moderate aerobic exercise per week recommended by the Department of Health.  And that's the not so big secret about German fitness.  By making fitness a regular part of their day they get in a lot of physical activity without having to go to the gym.  

This semester  I finally, after eight years of being in Germany, have my own bike and helmet.  I've been doing my best not to fall off or crash into anything the last two weeks (harder than you'd think). Leaving a few minutes early and biking to the train station is something I can manage, no matter how busy I am.  I should know in a couple of months if my husband's fitness is really genetic or if it's a result of his German lifestyle.  I'll keep you posted.

x

Sara

Value conflicts and Exceptionalism

One of the problems with writing about Germany is how to express value conflicts in a respectful manner.  How do I talk about another culture without delving into stereotypes or being offensive?  It's a lot harder than you would think.

I really started thinking about this one day when I talking about how I perceived a lot of people in Brandenburg to be hostile to foreigners with a couple of German friends.  Usually when I talk about this kind of thing with expats everybody has a couple of stories of terrible customer service or rudeness and it's not a big deal.  But my German friends surprised me by expressing embarrassment and condemnation.   At first I was puzzled but then I realized that in the same way I get embarrassed for particularly obnoxious American tourists so are why many Germans are embarrassed by xenophobia in their country. And then I started to worry if Germans ever did read my blog, would they find it to be offensive?  Have I fairly written about my experiences? 

Despite being a fairly homogeneous country Germany is still very regional when it comes to much of it's culture, language (darn you regional dialects!), attitudes and general friendliness.  Even within regions there is a high level of diversity.  When we lived in Malente I had some of my positive experiences with strangers going out of their way to offer help.  Still we also had to deal with neighbors who made it clear they weren't happy to be sharing an building with an American.  And herein lies the problem with stereotypes, they are too narrow to accurately define the parameters of reality.    

Making things even more complicated is the problem with cultural exceptionalism, i.e. the belief that one culture or nationality is somehow superior and singular, which is something that can complicate the way one sees a situation.  American expats could be divided into two categories: those who believe in European exceptionalism and those who believe in American exceptionalism with the lines probably becoming more blurred the longer one resides in Germany. Exceptionalism tends to exasperate me because I hate the ranking of places based on mostly arbitrary criteria as well as the European/American cultural hegemony that dominates media. 

Understanding perspective is key to understanding experience.  My interactions are filtered through a process of self-referencing the body of knowledge and experience I have accrued as a thirty-something, somewhat educated, white, middle class American.  If you changed my nationality, my gender, my age or my socioeconomic status then you'd change the way I experience a situation.  This is probably why expats sometimes like to hang out with other expats.  It's always nice to talk  to someone experiencing reality from a similar perspective.

So if you landed on this blog by searching for the answer 'Do American think they are better.' (hey Russia) the answer would be yes, some of them do but some of them don't but stereotypes are a super limited way of viewing the world.

x
Sara

Zara spring jackets

The weather is warming up, it's starting to look like spring.  Zara has every coat you ever dreamed of for warmer weather.  So many choices, how can you pick only one?

Zara coat, €160 / Zara trench coat, €140 / Zara coat, €140 / Zara rain coat, €94 / Zara, €94 / - Coats - WOMAN | ZARA Germany / LONG JACQUARD JACKET WITH PATCH POCKETS - Coats - WOMAN | ZARA Germany

How to be thrifty like a German

I've been married for 8 (!) years and known my husband for 11.  Needless to say, Germany has changed me a lot.  I've adopted a lot of husband's German attitudes and habits. One of the best habits I've picked up is German thriftiness.  

This topic gives me an excuse to post this picture H took when I still a student at NIU.  It was 2006 and we went to Florida for spring break.  I was so not thrifty back then.  I also apparently didn't wear sunglasses which is why I'm squinting.

Those were fun times.

In Germany banks just don't hand out loans and credit cards like they do in the USA.  A lot of Germans don't have credit cards and prefer to pay cash or use bank transfers.  You have to prove that you can pay for things before you get a line of credit.  Every time I tried to get a car loan in Germany I was always denied because I worked as a freelancer.   We ended up saving the money and then paying cash for my first tiny little black Smart For2.  It was the first time in my life I couldn't get a loan.

My spouse has a credit card but he always pays off the balance at the end of the month.  He's insured for everything you can get insurance for and he even opened a retirement fund for me a few months after we got married.  He doesn't like to buy things, or anything for that matter, which sometimes clashes with my American materialism.  He's also really into recycling and saving stuff like energy, water and gas.  Everything in our home is energy efficient, water efficient and whatever can be recycled is.  H is responsible if he is anything.  It turns out that after living with him for a third of my life some of these awesome traits kind of rubbed off.   Here's some of the ways I have changed.

Don't waste food and cook from scratch

Food is one of the biggest areas of waste in the USA.  Americans throw out hundreds of millions of tons of food every year.  I used to be really bad at this.  I would make a bag of popcorn, eat half and then throw the rest in the trash.  I would buy too many groceries and let things go bad.  You would have thought as a poor student I'd have been wiser, but I was terrible at food economy. 

Now that I've had some years running a household food waste drives me crazy.  Groceries aren't as expensive in Germany as they are in the USA but they still take up some of our monthly budget.  Why waste money by wasting food?  It's almost become a principle of social responsibility these days.

Of course, we still waste some food but not nearly as much as before.  These days I always know what we need and how much without much effort or planning.  On a normal day I know if we need eggs or if we still have a carton in the fridge.  I keep a list in my phone that way if I find myself at the store I know exactly what to get.  

I use kitchen hacks like keeping staples on hand and doing food prep for the week on Sunday nights.  At least once a month I buy a whole chicken so I can make stock.  I hadn't realized how easy making things at home is because I was used to buying everything ready made in the US.  When we make big batches of stuff like homemade pizza, pasta, lentils, or soup we freeze half but try to eat those leftovers on busy nights when we don't feel like cooking.  You might think this wouldn't work because freezers are small in Germany, so far it hasn't been an issue.  As long as we eat what's in the freezer within a couple of weeks we don't run out of room.  We almost never have to eat something out of bag or a can. And now if I have a bag of microwave popcorn I share it with someone.  It's so hard to find in Germany to begin with I would never throw it away.

Keep utilities costs to a minimum

As an American I didn't think utilities costs that much.  I was pretty careless about leaving electronics running or turning off the lights.  Now I am super careful.  I have a dryer but I almost never use it, especially during the summer.  I have a routine that works with the laundry so that everything gets washed, dried, ironed and put away by Monday with little fuss.  

We don't have any lights or electronics that aren't energy saving.  A lot of our lights are LEDs.  Our apartment is on the bigger side but it's divided into two parts, with the bedrooms in the front and the living room, dinning area and kitchen in the back.  We usually don't heat the bedrooms because we sleep with out windows open at night, even in winter.  The apartment is designed so they are the most insulated rooms and don't get very cold anyway. 

Usually we end up overpaying utility costs which means we get a refund at the end of the year and a couple of times our rent has been lowered.  Another plus is all these habits are great for the environment. 

If you like it, mend it

When I was home last Summer I bought a designer sweater (on sale).  It was one of my favorite things in the world and I loved it to death.  I wore it almost every week for months.  Of course, one day it got a little hole in it.  I was totally bummed because it hasn't lasted a year.  But instead of throwing it away I decided to fix it.  I read a quick DIY on darning, cobbled together some supplies form our meager sewing kit and voila!  

I was able to fix the hole.  Months later I still wear my favorite sweater all the time.  You can't tell I mended it myself.  I'm not a very crafty person and I haven't touched a sewing machine since home economics in 7th grade.  Darning is really not that hard at all.  

Another great fix is getting high quality shoes resoled instead of throwing them away.  I never buy cheap shoes anymore and I always make sure they're made of leather.  I've had my favorite pair of Zara boots for four years and I've had them resoled twice.  Resoling shoes makes them last two or three times as long.  When it come to wardrobe basics, like black pumps or riding boots, buying a new pair that looks almost identical every year doesn't make sense.  Good quality boots can cost from €100-€200 in Germany, getting them resoled is about €20.

Of course missing buttons or ripped seams are never a reason to throw something away.  Those are super easy fixes anyone can make.  If a piece of clothing isn't cut the way I like I take it to a tailor.  This is super cheap, most alterations cost around €10.  One of my favorite dresses was a too long maxi, I took it to a tailor and had it made into a midi.  The length is more flattering and I get a ton of compliments on it every summer.

Minimize your little costs and fees

When I lived in the US everything was always about convenience.  I didn't care if I had to pay a dollar to get cash from the ATM as long as it was easy.  As a result I spent hundreds of dollars every year paying little fees I could have avoided. 

Drive or take the train?  Spend €2 on a soda or bring a water bottle?  Pay an ATM fee or get cash for free?  Buy a sandwich or bring your own?  There are a bunch of tiny costs every month that can be eliminated.  I always think twice about what I'm spending and why.  If there isn't a really good reason to drive I take the train.  I try not to pick up expensive drinks or snacks when I'm out.  We haven't paid an ATM or money transfer fee in years. 

Sometimes paying more is worth it

There are some things we pay a lot more for in Germany.  I buy Cheerios from amazon.de even though they are five times more than a box of sugary cereal from the grocery store down the street.  My husband likes high quality chocolate and we order wine from a vineyard a couple times a year.  We always get bread from the bakery and meat from the butcher.  I don't mind footing the bill to get my cut and highlighted at an expensive salon in Berlin because it save me the time and money of running around getting bad highlights fixed.  Remember the orange hair debacle?   I could have spent the weekend in Istanbul with the money I paid to get my orange hair fixed.  Sometimes we have date lunches on Fridays while Sophie is in Kita at the fancy Italian restaurant in our town.  And last year I bought Sophie big colorful building bricks from America even though the shipping was crazy because it was a toy all the kids I knew back home totally loved. 

So sure, we try not to be wasteful people but we're not living like Spartans.  It's all about balance. 

I still have a long way to go

I've come a long way form my materialistic American roots but I still have a long way to go.  I'd love to say I never spend money on clothes I don't need but that's just not true.  I guess a lot of things rub off but my love for shopping is too deeply ingrained to go away so easily.  Oh well, maybe after another ten years of living with H and I'll hate shopping just as much as he does.

Or not ;).

x

Sara

Insulation vs. immersion

I've been thinking a lot about the degrees of immersion or insulation expats experience in Germany and how that effects their overall experience in the country.  There is a lot of variation due to personality and individual flexibility but overall the level of immersion vs. insulation can determine how well someone integrates into German culture. 

High levels of immersion come from things like speaking German, having German friends, having German family, living in areas where people do not speak English, the amount of time spent in Germany, sending your child to German schools and kindergartens, living outside of city centers, having a job that requires you to speak German and work with Germans.   On the other side things that insulate foreigners from German culture are having international friends, spending a limited amount of time in the country, speaking your native language, remaining within the boundaries of cosmopolitan areas, international or bi-lingual schools, working at international companies and having a spouse and family not from Germany.

Now most people will probably assume that a high level of immersion will result in successful integration.  Paradoxically, most expats I know actively seek to insulate themselves as much as possible from a high level of immersion.  Why would foreigners here for the most authentic 'German experience' not fully immerse themselves in Germany?

The answer lies in the deep-seated sense of order and precision in German culture.  For all its progressive politics Germany is a traditional country with tradition values.  Just because Germans are open minded about public drinking, prostitution and gay marriage doesn't mean they will allow you to drop your child off half an hour late to Kita.  Just because Germany says it wants to combat sexism in the workplace doesn't mean German companies are going to start hiring women as their CEOs.  This is what I like to refer to as a politically progressive but socially restrictive cultural norms.  Germany does much better on paper than in real life. 

Not following the unspoken social norms results a lot of covert or outright social aggression.  Because foreigners will naturally posses different cultural norms a high level of integration can result in experiencing a lot of 'correction'.  Correction might not seem malicious in nature but it is in fact one or more individuals trying to impose their norms or preference on another.  Since social correction is abrasive and intrusive many foreigners will seek out more international areas of German society where individuals are likely to be more open minded and understanding.  Many foreigners will need a certain amount of insulation from too much correction.  They might find solace in their spouse, friendships with other foreigners, or by exclusively speaking thair native language.  Successful integration rests on a balance of being immersed without being overwhelmed.   If foreigners can maintain this balance then they will find they can ease themselves into the more open areas of German society.  Not having this balance is akin to being a seal thrown into a tank of hungry sharks. 

Lately I've had a totally backlash against all things German.  This is probably a reaction to the high level of immersion and low level of insulation I am currently experiencing.   Criticism comes from every area of my life and the cracks are starting to show.  I'm so sick and tired of being told what to do, how to do it, being reprimanded, reminded, challenged.  I'm tired of arguing with sales reps and receptionists.  I'm tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn't post on Facebook, tired of being talked about, of having my every word picked apart.  I'm tired of people trying to out-parent me.  I'm tired having to be precise and exact in what I say.  I'm tired of being told not to talk about things, to keep this and that a secret.  I'm tired of pointless drama.  I'm tired of everyone taking themselves so mothertrucking serious.  I want everyone to mind their own business and leave me alone for a while. 

Which we all know is not going to happen.

This weekend will be dedicated to finding ways to insulate myself against the constant (seriously, seriously constant) barrage of criticism and correction before it drives me batty.

x
Sara

Zara's Winter sale has begun

Zara pink sweater, €33 / Zara sweater, €41 / Zara kimono, €33 / Zara coat, €125 / Zara lined jacket, €98 / Zara zip jacket, €98 / Skirt / Zara mid-rise jeans, €41 / Zara short skirt, €25 / Zara handle handbag, €98 / Zara handbag, €49

Just a reminder that everything is on sale right now at Zara in stores and online.  Hopefully you all aren't like me who already way overspent my clothing budget for like the next five years.  Happy shopping!  

Extrovert vs. Introvert expat experience

Lately I've been longing for all things back home.  It's going to be Christmas and I miss my family.  I miss my friends.  I miss America.  This feeling of homesickness has been so strong that a couple of times I found myself fighting tears while sitting in lectures.  It's weird.  Why now?  I'm well into my eighth year as an expat.  I'm not even sure I remember what living in America is like.  

Someone posted an article about introverts on Facebook and I realized my expat experience is different from other people's because I am an introvert.  I don't like parties, crowds or lots of noise and activity.  You'd find me happier doing solo activities like reading or running or walking my dog.  I really like people, don't get me wrong. I find them interesting and amazing but I have a finite amount of social energy.  If I don't know someone well then being around them is draining and a little anxiety inducing.  My family and people that I've known for years have the opposite affect.  Being with them is relaxing and fun.  I start to get stressed out and worn down if I'm always expending social energy and never recharging it.

My problem is that my social energy doesn't get a proper recharge in Germany.  Expats are always moving and we're always moving.  I haven't gotten the chance to build the kind of strong friendships I have back home.  There are a handful of people in Germany who I can say really got to know me but of course they moved or I moved so those people aren't in my life except via social media.  The longest I've ever been friends with anyone is four years but it's usually much less than that.

By the time I got to Berlin I'd probably cycled through at least six times of making all new friends for various reasons and I was socially exhausted.  I put myself through the motions but my heart wasn't in it anymore.  I didn't feel like telling people I buzzed my hair in high school (that ended up being a traumatic social experiment) or that I like dogs.  What was the point when we'd be moving in a couple years anyway?  I was tired of the the whole thing.  All of my social energy was being expended dealing with the neighbors, hanging out with my inlaws and taking on toddler tantrums.  I have nothing left over to put forth building the friendships that will give me energy instead of take it. 

An extroverted person would probably fare much better being an expat.  Extroverts thrives on being around people and are happy to constantly make new friends.  They like to be where the excitement is, a face in the crowd.  A lot of my expat friends are extroverts.  They're easy to talk to, easy to get along with and they have a social calender that makes me tired just thinking about it.  These kinds of people who are charismatic and sociable.  They form friendship groups and always go places together.  If you are an extrovert expat I envy you.  It sounds super fun.

Right now I'm craving stability.  I don't want temporary homes, temporary friends or temporary circumstances.  I am even starting to hate my IKEA furniture.  I look at it and think that at this point I'd like something permanent, something that I truly like and not it's just-for-now.  I want to be in a place where I can put down roots, finally take a deep breath and relax without thinking about how moving again is going to factor into my five year plan. 

I've been lucky to work in Germany and now to be able to go to school.  I'm grateful I've gotten the chance to carve out a life and not just be a trailing spouse.  There hasn't ever been a time when I wasn't able to pursue one goal or another.  But living in Germany at all costs has never been my dream.  I love this country but there are other things I want more than to live here.  I was professional success in my chosen field and I want to be a part of effecting social changes in the US.  It's something I've always felt strongly about and it's impossible to do while I live in Germany.  My identity is strongly wrapped up in the work I do and without that my life would feel diminished.

My theory professor was giving a lecture on Parsons yesterday and he talked about how individuals leave their parents and friends to go into the world and make their own lives.  The theory says that when we leave those people we retain the abstract values that they have given us.  This is very true for me.  I lost a lot of people but I kept the value, the truths that they taught me.  I can't stay in Germany and ignore my convictions.  If I'm ever going to effect any kind of social change I have to go back to my own country.  In addition I'm really really tired of the only constant in my life being change.

x
Sara

P.S. 16 year old me with no hair, I thought I was so hardcore with my inverted rosary (maybe now would be a good time to apologize to Catholics?)  Sorry for defacing your religious artifact to seem cool, guys.

German Apothek: cold and flu

In honor of being sick for the millionth time this month (darn you Kindergarten full of germs!) I thought I'd write an informative blog post about over the counter cold and flu medication.  

Chances are if you are an expat in Germany at least once you went to the Apothek miserable with a cold and walked out with some kind of homeopathic medicine that didn't seem to help at all.  I haven't met any expats who don't miss the over the counter medicines from back home.  For a long time I thought cold medicine didn't really work here.  That's not so.  Germany has pretty much the same cold medicine we have in the States, you just have to know what it's called and ask for it by name.  Don't trust the pharmacists to tell you what to take!  They always recommend the more natural homeopathic treatments.  Even better is having the doctor write you a prescription.  Our health insurance covers almost all prescriptions, even over the counter stuff. 

First things first, a daytime decongestant that actually works!  Just be careful you don't take it with paracetamol. 

Wick DayMed Erkältungs-Kapseln

For night time cold and flu suffering I love this cough syrup.   It is slightly less effective than the green flavor but it tastes so much better.  If you need something stronger buy the green death flavor, it has a couple of extra ingredients (mainly alcohol) that make it taste horrible but also work better. 

MediNait Erkältungssirup = cough syrup

These throat numbing cough drops are fantastic.

Halstabletten = cough drops

If tablet decongestants aren't working well enough try this nose spray.  They also make this nose spray for toddlers but good luck administering it!  Sometimes if we do it super fast we can get it up our child's nose before she has time to make a plan of resistance.  It really does help, but sometimes it's not worth the fight with a cranky sick kid :)

For regular pain relief I like Ibuprofin.  Beware, it has the same name in Germany but is pronounced differently.   Also called Ibu-ratiopharm.

 Tylenol goes by the name Paracetamol in Germany.  Remember, German pronunciation means it sounds nothing like how you would say it in English.

For babies and small children liquid pain relief is the way to go.  Some pediatricians will always prescribe suppository medication for babies so I always ask for Saft (liquid) medications.  Depending on the age of your child you can get 2% or 5%.  Sometimes is comes with a spoon or a Dosierspritze (syringe).  I found that the Dosierspritze works way better for babies and toddlers. 

Ibuprofin in liquid form for for babies.

Paracetamol (Tylenol) in liquid form for babies.

Histamine blocker for those with allergies.  They have all different types, this is just the one we happened to have on hand.

Lastly kids cough syrup to help toddlers get rest at night.

This covers the basics for over the counter cold and flu treatments in Germany.  If you are looking for a particular brand of medication but don't know the German name you can easily find out the name online.  If you Google the English name most common drugs have a Wikipedia page that will tell you name of the drug in different countries.   I usually use this when my doctor prescribes me something I'm not familiar with and I want to read about the side effect etc. in English.  

And if you really hate going to the Apothek know that most over the counter medications can be bought cheaper on Amazon.de, sometimes even in bulk.

Gute Besserung,

x
Sara

What I would buy for Fall 2014

Since you like shopping so much (the shopping post shot to the top of this weeks posts overnight) and since I haven't posted anything about clothes in forever, let's shop some more. 

Zara asymmetrical top, €53 / Zara top, €45 / Zara duffle coat, €210 / Zara jacket, €98 / AG Adriano Goldschmied slim fit jeans, €235 / Steve Madden steve-madden shoes, €60 / J Crew bracelet, €7,21 / J Crew belt, €30 / Women's Bags & Accessories | J.Crew Factory - Accessories & Bags / TRIPLE STRAP HEELED BOOTIE | Express, €53

For some reason I want to wrap myself up in giant sweater coats and real coats and wear blank skinny pants.  Last week I was freezing in the mornings and overheating later in the day.  I don't know what is up with that.  Usually I love color but not this Fall.  This year I keep gravitating towards things that are not a color.  I think Pinterest is to blame for my rapidly acquired desire for tiny gold earrings.   I thought long and hard and decided if I buy anything this Fall/Winter it will only be three things: black skinny pants, a magic unicorn scarf, and super comfortable black ankle boots.

I had a plan to look for a scarf at Zara today.  I was just going to look because I am a frugal responsible soon to be graduate student who had to be in the city for something else anyway.  The whole thing fell apart when traffic on the loop decided to stop forever and never ever move again.  That forced me to exit the autobahn and drive through the city, possibly the worst thing to do on a Friday during rush hour.  I was so late! The scarf I had my eye on was perfect in every way but it wasn't the right shade.  It washed me out, a big no-no for something I was planning on wearing by my face all winter. Sadly I put it back and in my stress/ disappointment I totally forgot the entire reason I had planned this the way I had was to visit the big TK Maxx.  FAIL!  My shopping game was way better in Hamburg when I sat down with friends, drank Starbucks and they reminded me to go to TK Maxx.  

The end.

x
Sara