Cabin Fever

Today, no matter what, I am leaving my apartment.  It started snowing last week and it kept on snowing and snowing and snowing.  It snowed so much that my mom took the train into Hamburg to catch her flight home.  Every morning I'd wake up and look outside at the falling snow and decide there was no way I was taking Sophie out in that mess.  Icy streets, icy sidewalk and more snow falling from the sky is no environment for a seven month old.

I made up for being stuck inside by joining twitter (follow me here) and watching a lot of reality tv.  The Real Housewives of Miami to be exact because there is no bottom when it comes to me and the real housewives of anything.  Plus I just finished the last season of Sons of Anarchy so I was ready for something a little more upbeat.  On a side note, Sons is like really, really super violent right?  Like soooo violent that sometimes I'm a bit shocked.  And I finally made myself watch Ichi the Killer a few years ago so I feel as though I'm pretty desensitized to fake violence.  Though between you and me I skipped the hot oil torture scene- the fish hooks are a bit much in my opinion.

Despite Twitter and reality tv last night I started to feel a little bit sad.  I had a bunch of plans this week and I was going to have to cancel them all.  Sophie has been going through another thing where she cries a lot more than usual. I suspect it's because she misses her Daddy and she's having a hard time adjusting to getting less attention since my Mom left.  Frequently she tries to crawl into my lap and it hurts my heart that I don't have more times to play with her.  I'm going home in less than a week but I'm not as excited about it as I should be.  The only thing I really want is for H to come home.  I would cancel my trip if he would get an early transfer.  Sometimes when we were first married I used to wonder if I'd made the right decision following H to a foreign country.  Now I know that my life without him would be beyond the pale.

Besides just missing H there are other advantages to having a spouse around.  I changed the sheets and duvet covers on the beds only to have Sophie immediately throw up on the bed.  I HATE changing duvet covers.  I remind myself that when H gets back I won't have to change sheets, let out Redgie four times a day, always take out the trash, carry heavy stuff, ect.  It's going to be like vacation. A family vacation!

As difficult as it's been I'm proud of all of us for making it through this.  We're all a lot tougher than I thought.  If we can get through the last six weeks we can get through anything.

But- I predict driving to Berlin on Sunday is going to be a nightmare.  I know it in my bones.  I also know I'll be able to get us there, even if it takes all day.  Which given my past experiences with the Autobahn in snow it probably will.